Aspec Terms
an in-depth course on aspec labels
by @saffigon on tumblr
Disclaimer
None of these definitions are meant to be rigid. These are basic outlines of terms in order for identities to be more understood.In relation to the Split Attraction Model: My discussion of the SAM is from a neutral standpoint; the SAM is a tool that can be helpful to some and harmful to others. Like any other tool, use the SAM if you find it helpful, and don't use it if you don't find it helpful. I am merely describing both the SAM itself and non-SAM identities to help people understand their own and other identities, not enforcing it one way or the other.
Major Resources / Organizations
--
The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP):
an organization working to, as their name implies, advocate for ace and aro folks as well as building community and resources for those on the ace and aro spectrums. Their website provides information on common aspec terms, advice for joining aspec communities, and articles detailing certain experiences within the community.
Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA):
an organization working for education, inclusion, advocacy, and recognition for aromantic and aromantic people. Their website also provides definitions for common aromantic terms as well as guides for those questioning and for allies on how to support aromantic people.
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN):
a community of asexual folks that involves advocacy, education, and visibility of ace-spec issues. AVEN also focuses on other sections of the a-spectrum, however, the main focus is the asexual community. Their website includes more information about asexuality and other sections of the a-spec community.
Repulsion Descriptors
Repulsion Descriptors are used to indicate how someone feels towards certain activities or emotions associated surrounding sex, romance, or any other non-rose/tertiary attraction, though they are most commonly used to refer to sex and romance.
These descriptors are most commonly used by aspec individuals, however, they can be used by anyone if they find use in them.
These labels can also vary greatly. From person to person, intensity of repulsion or favorability may be different and, for individuals, what triggers repulsion or what they're favorable towards may vary from day to day.
*For simplicity of language, I will be referring to sex and romance, but these can apply to any form of affection or attraction.*
---
Favorable means that someone enjoys activities around or the concept of sex or romance. Favorable does not indicate that someone feels that kind of attraction, but instead is indicative of how an individual feels toward the concept of, activities around, or sex/romance itself.
Positive is not the same thing as favorable. Being Sex or Romance Positive is not a personal feeling towards romance, but instead an attitude or opinion towards sex or romance in society. Being Sex or Romance Positive means encouraging conversations and positive representation around sex or romance.
---
Indifferent is not having any strong feelings surrounding sex or romance.
Neutral is not the same thing as indifferent. Indifferent is personal feelings towards sex/romance where Sex/Romance Neutral is a position that is not being positive or negative towards conversations or behaviors around sex or romance.
---
Averse is not wanting to engage in romantic or sexual things themselves, but does not feel the same level of aversion when others around them mention the same activities or concepts.
*This definition sometimes varies and aversion is sometimes used to indicate a lesser intensity version of repulsion*
Negative is not the same as averse. Where aversion is in regard to one's personal feelings towards sex/romance, Sex/Romance Negativity is a position that believes healthy and positive conversations, and in some cases of negativity, sexual or romantic activities should not be occurring.
---
Repulsed is not wanting to engage with romantic or sexual activities in any way and not want to be around others who are engaging in or discussing romantic or sexual activities.
Just like aversion, repulsion is not the same thing as negative.
---
Ambivalent is used to indicate that someone has mixed feelings towards sex or romance. This usually goes for those who don't have a consistent feeling towards romance or sex and for those that have their repulsion levels change based on situation.
---
More Resources
Mogai Wiki Repulsion Descriptors Page
Amatonormativity
Amatonormativity was coined by Professor Elizabeth Brake in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law. She defined it as “the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types."
---
To put it simply, amatonormativity is the idea that sexual, romantic, monogamous relationships are expected and the goal of everyone; it is the idea that one should seek out one individual that will fulfill all your needs, both romantically and sexually. It is similar to heteronormativity in the fact that it's an expectation of a norm that oppresses those that do not conform to it.
---
Amatonormativity is harmful to everyone as it puts pressure on someone to enter a relationship they may not be interested in for the sake of appearances or cause those to not leave unhealthy or bad relationships for the fear of being a failure to the expectations.
With that being said, amatonormativity affects aspec and non-monogamous folks more disproportionately.
- For those that are aromantic and do not desire romantic relationships, it enforces the idea that they need a romantic relationship to be happy and that they are less than for not desiring that.
- For those that are asexual and do not desire sexual relationships, it enforces the idea that they need to engage in sex in their relationships in order for them to be happy or in order for them to fulfill their partner and they are less than for not doing so.
- For those that are monogamous, it enforces the idea that they should only desire one partner and that single individual can fulfill them and they are less than for pursuing more than one partner.
---
Other Resources
What is Amatonormativity?
AUREA's "Amatonormativity 101"
Let's Talk about Amatonormativity
Examples of Amatonormativity
Facing Amatonormativity
Relationship Hierarchy
Relationship hierarchy is placing relationships above others due to the nature of their relationship rather than based on the people in them. For example, placing a romantic relationship's importance over the importance of a platonic relationship simply because it is romantic.
This could be a method one employs in their own relationships, and it can appear in the culture surrounding relationships as a whole.
---
Relationship hierarchy has a tie to amatonormativity in the way it places importance on romantic relationships. By placing romance at the top, it can be seen as a negative thing if you don't want a romantic relationship. By doing this, it also lessens the value of other types of relationships, such as a queerplatonic relationship or platonic relationships.
---
Relationship Anarchy
Relationship Anarchy (often shortened to RA) is valuing all forms of relationships the same and instead defining them by the individuals in them. Instead of valuing a relationship more because it's romantic, someone may put more importance into that relationship because they have known that person longer than others or have a stronger connection.
---
*Relationship anarchy is not inherently aspec, however, many aspecs may adapt this relationship style due to relationship hierarchy's inherent tie to amatornomativity.*
---
Other Resources
Relationship Anarchy 101
What is Relationship Anarchy?
Nonamory and Nonpartnering
Nonamory (sometimes shortened to nonam) is a relationship style in which someone does not have an innate need to form any long-term partnerships. This varies amongst nonamorous individuals; some may not engage in romantic relationships but engage in other relationship types, such as queerplatonic relationships or platonic partnerships, while others may not engage in any form of relationship.
---
Nonpartnering is very similar to nonamory, and, in some cases, used synonymously. For those that use it synonymously, they may do so because of not liking the implications of -amory and prefer the partnering term.
---
Individuals can be nonamorous and partnering. For these individuals, they may not have an innate want or need to enter relationships, however still partner in one way or another.
---
Others may describe themselves as nonpartnering and amorous (where amorous can be substituted with any other relationship style.) For these individuals, they may have an innate want or need to enter relationships and choose not to partner.
---
It is important to note that not every aspec person is nonamorous or nonpartnering. Many aspec people engage in relationships of all forms.
Another thing to note is that nonamory and nonpartnering is not aspec exclusive. Anyone can be nonamorous or nonpartnering for any reason.
---
Other Resources
Coining of Nonamorous
What is Non-Rose and Tertiary?
Tertiary attraction is any attraction outside of romantic or sexual attraction. This term is sometimes criticized for upholding the hierarchy that romantic and sexual attraction are primary and secondary attractions, and therefore more important than tertiary. For this reason, some use non-rose to avoid the hierarchical implications.
Non-Rose means anything not romantic or sexual. Rose comes from the RO in romantic and the SE in sexual.
---
Non-Rose Attractions
Some non-rose attractions include:
Aesthetic - an attraction to someone based on looks or aesthetics; sometimes paired with sexual attraction, but not always
Platonic - an attraction based on wanting to become friends or platonic partners with a specific person
Sensual - an attraction based on wanting to be physically close with a specific person; sometimes paired with other attractions, but not always
Familial - an attraction based on a desire for strong familial attachment; this may be with given family or found family
---
*All of these attractions, and any other non-rose attractions, include anattractional identities as well. See the next slide to learn more about anattractional identities.*
-----
Queerplatonic and Alterous
Queerplatonic Attraction is usually defined as a desire to enter a queerplatonic relationship with somebody in particular. Some terms for queerplatonic "crushes" include squish, plush, or squash.
---
Queerplatonic Relationships (QPRS) are generally defined as relationships that are neither platonic or romantic. This could mean blurring the lines between platonic and romantic or lying completely outside of the platonic/romantic binary.
-
A QPR may involve actions that could be perceived as romantic by outsiders or actions that may be perceived as platonic to outsiders, but those involved in the relationship ultimately define them as queerplatonic. These relationships are vaguely defined on purpose in order to give more freedom from the rigid definitions of romantic and platonic relationships.
-
QPRs are typically shared by those on the aspec, but anyone can be in a queerplatonic relationship. One does not have to be queer to be in a QPR or experience queerplatonic attraction. The word queer in the term instead refers to the queering of relationships as a whole.
---
Queerplatonic Partners: some terms for queerplatonic partners include QPPs, zuchinnis, marshmallow/mallowfriend, or partner. QPPs can use any terms they find comfortable, including more typically romantic or platonic terms, these are just some semi-common examples.
---
Alterous Attraction is defined as a form of emotional attraction that is neither romantic nor platonic. For some, this may mean that their attraction blurs the lines between romantic and platonic, for others, it may be outside of the romantic/platonic binary altogether. This attraction is vaguely described on purpose in stark contrast to the rigid definitions of romantic and platonic attraction.
This form of attraction may lead to a QPR, but alterous attraction is not inherent to queerplatonic relationships.
Non-Rose Resources
Non-Rose Coining
Mogai Wiki Tertiary
-
Aesthetic Attraction
Platonic Attraction
Sensual Attraction
Familial Attraction
-
Other Non-Rose AttractionsQueerplatonic Resources
Queerplatonic Relationships
Queerplatonic AttractionAlterous Resources
What is Alterous Attraction?
TAAAP on Alterous Attraction
Anattractional Identities
Anattractional: feeling little to no attraction; this is attraction of any form.
Aphysical: feeling little to no physical attraction; this usually includes sexual, sensual, and aesthetic attraction
Aemotional: feeling little to no emotional attraction; this usually includes romantic, platonic, and alterous attraction
-
Panaspec: similar to anattractional, where one does not feel any form of attraction
Omniaspec: similar to panaspec, though attractions may be more gray or somewhere on the aspec; some attractions may be felt partially
---
Aplatonic Spectrum: experiencing little to no platonic attraction; can be shortened to apl (pronounced apple)
Analterous / Nonalterous Spectrum: experiencing little to no alterous attraction; can be shortened to analt or nonalt
Aqueerplatonic Spectrum: experiencing little to no queerplatonic attraction; can be shortened to aqp
Nonaesthetic / Anaesthetic Spectrum: experiencing little to no aesthetic attraction; can be shortened to nonaes or anaes
Asensual Spectrum: experiencing little to no sensual attraction
Afamilial Spectrum: experiencing little to no familial attraction; can be shortened to afam
---
Other Information
Aspec is a term for all identities that fall on the anattracitonal spectrum. Sometimes it is used to mean aro and ace spectrums, however it is not exclusive to only those two spectrums.
-
Acespec is a term for all identities on the asexual spectrum
Arospec is a term for all identities on the aromantic spectrum
-
Aplspec = aplatonic spectrum
Analtspec = analterous spectrum
Aqpspec = aqueerplatonic spectrum
Nonaesspec = nonaesthetic spectrum
Afamspec = afamilial spectrum
And so on...
-----
Other Aspec Identities
AlloAce is an identity for those that are both alloromantic and acespec; one does not have to be strictly ace in order to be alloace
AroAllo / AlloAro is an identity for those that are both allosexual and arospec; one does not have to be strictly aro in order to be aroallo
AroAce is an identity for those that are both arospec and acespec; one does not have to be strictly aro and strictly ace in order to be aroace
-
Oriented AroAce is an identity for those that are aroace and experience a form of attraction that they want to label; for example, a lesbian oriented aroace would be lesbian in some way while also being aroace
Angled AroAce is an identity for those that are aroacespec and want to label their sexual, romantic, or non-rose attractions. A demisexual, demiromantic, panalterous could identify as angled based on their panalterous attraction and an aromantic, greysexual, bisexual could label themselves as angled based on their sexual attraction.
*Note: these identities have controversy around them because angled was created due to oriented aroace being gatekept to mean only those that are strictly aroace rather than anyone on the aroace spectrum. With that being said, anyone can use oriented aroace regardless of where they sit on the spectrum.*
-
Amid is a term for those that are somewhere on both the acespec and arospec. Alternatively, amid can refer to someone who is neither strictly allosexual or asexual, nor strictly alloromantic or aromantic.
Aromid is a term for those that are strictly aromantic and somewhere on the acespec. Alternatively, it can refer to someone that is strictly aromantic, but not strictly asexual nor allosexual.
Acemid is a term for those that are strictly asexual and somewhere on the arospec. Alternatively, it can refer to someone that is strictly asexual, but not strictly alloromantic nor aromantic.
-----
Anattractional Resources
Anattractional
Aphysical and Aemotional
Panaspec and Omniaspec
Analterous || Aqueerplatonic
Nonaesthetic || Asensual
---
Aplatonic Resources
The Basics of Aplatonicism
AUREA's "Aplatonicism 101"
Signs you might be Aplatonic
Aplatonicspec Flags and Definitions
---
Other Identity Resources
AlloAce | AroAllo | AroAce
Oriented AroAce | Angled AroAce
Amid, Acemid, Aromid Coining
Aspec Orientations
(all of the titles are links)
Aego: an identity for those that feel a disconnect from themselves and the object of their attraction. They may have fantasies or engage with content surrounding said attraction, but feel disconnected from that attraction or not want to act on that attraction.
Apothi: a term for those that are repulsed; for example, an apothiromantic would be an aromantic that is romance repulsed
Bellus: a term for those that have an interest in, like the aesthetics of, like the aspects of certain attractions or relationships but does not experience said attraction nor wants that form of relationship
Cupio: a term for those that experience little to no attraction and still desire a relationship of that attraction
Caed: a term for those that feel that they once experienced attraction but no longer do due to trauma; this term is exclusive to those who have experienced trauma or have PTSD
Demi: a term for those that don't experience attraction to an individual until a bond is made; this can be any form of bond i.e. demiromantics do not need to form a platonic bond to experience romantic attraction
---
Eras: a term for those who feel they once experienced attraction but no longer do; similar to Caed, however truama is not required to be Eras.
Ficto: a term for those that experience attraction to or whose attraction is somehow influenced by fictional characters
Flux: a term for those whose attraction varies; for example, an aroflux individual may be strictly aromantic one day, demiromantic another, frayromantic on another, etc
Fray: a term for those whose attraction fades once they get to know the person they are initially attracted to; often called the opposite of demi
Gray: a term for those that experience attraction weakly or rarely or for those that are generally inbetween allo and strictly anattractional
Jump: a term for those that are usually allo but experience sudden, short bursts of experiencing no attraction before returning to allo
---
Lith: a term for those who experience attraction but do not want it reciprocated; this could be because they lose attraction once they enter a relationship, they feel discomfort once entering said relationship, or they prefer said relationship in theory rather than in practice.
Nebula: a term for those who cannot distinguish between attraction due to neurodivergency
Recipro: a term for those who only experience attraction if they know the other person is attracted to them first
Spike: a term for those that are usually aspec but experience sudden, short bursts of being allo before returning to aspec
Quoi: a term for those that are unsure what attraction is or if they've felt it, find attraction inaccessible or inapplicable, unable to understand attraction, disidentifying with attraction, or having difficulty distinguishing between attractions
-----
Autospec is a term for those that experience attraction to themselves. They can be exclusively attracted to themselves or attraction to others as well.
---
Orchidspec is a term for those that experience attraction but do not wish to act on it or have those forms of relationships
-----
Other Aspec Orientations
Mogai Wiki Aspec Category
The Split Attraction Model
The Split Attraction Model or the SAM is a model that separates romantic and sexual attraction (and sometimes non-rose attraction) into different categories to better define them. For example, someone who is bisexual and aromantic would be utilizing the SAM to describe romantic and sexual attraction differently.
This is most commonly used in aspec spaces to better describe attraction, however anyone of any identity can use the SAM for any reason.
---
Non-SAM Umbrella
Non-SAM means that a person does not utilize the Split Attraction Model. This could be for many reasons, whether it's because they don't know their other attraction, because they personally find one attraction more important than the others they experience, they simply don't find the SAM useful, or just don't want to label their other attractions.
Some non-SAM don't label romantic or sexual attraction but may label non-rose attractions. Others may not label any other attraction.
---
Non-SAM Aros only define themselves as aro and don't define their sexuality; these individuals can be anywhere on the aromantic spectrum
Neu Aro / Aro Neu is an identity for those that are neutral on allosexual or asexual. The label is specifically vague as to not define what neutral means and is up to the individual to define neutral for themselves
Unit Aro is an identity for those that feel their aromanticism is one single unit. This could mean that their aromanticism is the only that matters to them, aro singularly represents their experiences best, or that aro is preferred over other parts of their identity
AroQueer is a term for those whose aromanticism is the clearest or most prominent part of their identity while the rest can be simply defined as queer.
Oriented Aro is an identity similar to oriented aroace, in which it indicates an orientation but not the form of attraction; i.e. a bi oriented aro would be bi and aromantic but not bi for any particular from of attraction
Non-SAM Aces only define themselves as ace and don't define their romantic orientation; these individuals can be anywhere on the asexual spectrum; this term is less commonly used than non-SAM aro, and some aces may just call themselves asexual without labeling themselves specifically as non-SAM ace.
-----
SAM Resources
Gender Sexuality and Resource Center on the SAM
What is the Split Attraction Model?
---
Non-SAM Resources
What is Non-SAM?
Aryonnetxco's Explanation Post
Coining of Neu Aro
Unit Aro Discussion
Aroqueer
Oriented Aro Coining
Lovepunk, Lovequeer, and Loveless
Lovepunk is a total opposition to the idea of love as society understands and reacts to it. To be lovepunk is to believe that societal standards for love are ill-fitting and to go against them in one way or another.
Those that are lovequeer or loveless may describe themselves as lovepunk, but not all will.
-
Lovequeer is a rejection of love as it is typically defined. It is typically characterized as a radical use of "love" that encapsulates forms of love outside of romantic. Those that are lovequeer typically use love to describe any relationship they engage in and reject the idea that love is only romantic or only romantic love matters.
-
Loveless is a rejection of the idea of love altogether, including romantic love and any other forms of love. Those that are loveless may feel disconnected from love, may not feel love, doubt they feel love, or reject the expectations of love.
---
Arolovic or Loving Aro is an identity for aros that find love to be an important part of their identity. The kind of love can vary from aro to aro; it could be platonic love, familial love, love for pets, or any other form of love.
-
Loveflux is an identity for those that feel their ability to feel love or attachment to love fluctuates. It could fluctuate between loveless, lovepunk, lovequeer, arolovic, or any other identity.
-
Heartless is a label for those that feel separated from romance and any or all forms of love. They may feel separated from romance and love because they feel disconnected from the ideals, because they feel rejected by these ideals, or because they have discomfort surrounding these ideals. Heartless may also be used as a form of reclamation of the idea that those that are aromantic or don't feel love are heartless.
The difference between loveless and heartless is that heartlessness focuses on romance moreso than love where lovelessness is specifcally focused on love.
Anyone can be heartless, as it is not exclusive to those that are romance repulsed, loveless, amatopunk, voidpunk, or vilpunk.
-----
Lovepunk Resources
Original coining lovepunk
Breaking down Love | Breaking down Love 2
Being both Loveless and Lovequeer
-
Lovequeer Resources
Original coining of lovequeer
Elaboration on lovequeer
-
Loveless Resources
What is loveless? | What is loveless? 2 | What is loveless? 3
A personal essay describing lovelessness
AUREA's "Loveless and Aro-Spec Thoughts"
AUREA's "The Aros Left Behind: The Loveless"
Why Someone Might Identify as Loveless
-
Arolovic Coining
Loveflux Coining
-
Heartless Resources
Heartless Coining
Heartless FAQ
Amatopunk is an ideology for those rejecting or challenging the expectations and importance of relationships and love.
Those that are amatopunk are typically aspec or non-monogamous, though one does not need to be to identify with amatopunk.
-
Amatosonas are some ways amatopunk individuals embrace their views on relationships and love. These are typically plants or flora or both because plants don't operate within societal standards and to reclaim the ideas of asexuals being plants.
---
Voidpunk is a subculture for those that feel rejected by humanity. This subculture focuses on embracing not being human as a non-negative attribute. Being voidpunk does not inherently make one not-human, though some are, it is more about embracing the idea that being inhuman or subhuman is not an inherently negative thing.
This subculture is not exclusive to aspec individuals, but many feel they fit within it as aspec individuals are often told they're not human for not feeling a certain attraction.
-
Voidsonas are ways some voidpunk individuals express their nonhumanity. These are kinds of personas or original characters that highlight the ideas of nonhumanity, typically taking the form of robots, cryptids, or other creatures. Not ever voidpunk individual will have a voidsona.
---
Evilpunk (aka Villianpunk) (aka Vilpunk) is a punk identity surrounding the reclamation of demonization. Vilpunk stands for the idea of embracing the title of evil as it has been given to oneself. It was created for those with "dangerous" mental or physical conditions, but also extends to marginalized beings that are demonized by society in some way.
Vilpunk is not meant as an excuse to be bigoted or harmful, but instead exists as a statement of "If I am going to be seen as evil, I might as well embrace it as part of my identity."
---
Romo Aro is an opt in umbrella term for aros who are romance favorable, partnering, lovequeer, experience some amount of romantic attraction (such as greyromantics or arospecs), desire romantic attraction or relationships, or otherwise identify with the term. The identity also encompasses anyone who is arospec whose attraction or other actions, experiences, or feelings being viewed as "romantic."
---
Evil Aro is an aromantic identity that embraces the "negative" stereotypes associated with being aromantic; this could include being loveless and/or heartless, being the villain / relating to aro-coded villain characters, being aplatonic or allosexual, or, more generally, being an "angry aromantic" or "aggressively aromantic." Evil Aros may or may not be evilpunk.
-----
Amatopunk Resources
Amatopunk Carrd
-
Voidpunk Resources
Voidpunk Basics
Voidpunk Clarifications
-
Evilpunk Resources
Evilpunk Coining
-
Romo Aro Resources
Romo Aro Umbrella
Romo Aro Elaboration
Romo Aro Clarifications
-
Evil Aro Resources
Evil Aro Coining